12 days before surgery!

Hello all! 

So one week from Wednesday I will be at Sutter getting my surgery done! I am trying to remind myself to be aware of everything right now. So much will change and I want to vividly remember all the feelings and the outlook that I had as a big girl once I am on the other side of the sleeve. I remind myself everyday that really this is it, these are my last days as a big girl!

I also find myself wanting to take lots of pictures of myself. Not for vanity purposes but because I want to see them once I have had the surgery and know that that was me right before. I don't want to forget who I was before and that's why I take pictures so I can look at myself later on and know how far I've come.

Today I felt inspired to write a new blog entry. I want to talk about the frequent questions and comments I receive regarding my surgery. If you are reading this blog and you have had or are going to have bariatric surgery, I really hope you can relate! Here goes nothing...

• "My Uncle's girlfriend's brother's wife's niece has had the surgery and it didn't work..." EVERYBODY seems to have an obscure relative's relative's relative's that has had bariatric surgery and gained the weight back. The surgery is a tool and if you use that tool and put in the hard work, it will pay off and there is no reason why you should not lose weight! If you want to say negative things about the surgery because you think I will change my mind or think I will fail, maybe you aren't a person I need to be talking to.
• "Surgery is the easy way out, why don't you just exercise and eat right. I mean look at me, I have lost 25 pounds" This one is also an aggravating one. Anybody that has had surgery will tell you that surgery is the hardest thing they have had to do. Do you think going through a painful surgery where your insides are cut open and stapled back together is easy? Surgery is not the easy way out. It is the realistic way out. When a person becomes so "obese" their stomach stretches out so much that it is impossible to shrink your stomach back to a normal size. Also, many large people are able to lose weight but end up gaining it back because there is always that possibility you will gain weight back because you are so easily prone to being heavy. To compare somebody that is losing just a few love pounds/pregnancy weight with somebody that has struggled with weight all their life and most often needs to lose 100 plus pounds is ridiculous. I have a coworker that lost some weight on her own and is so negative about the surgery. I don't become angered with her negative comments, I just feel sorry for her because as smart as she is she can't realize the pros of surgery and the positive outcome it can create in a person's life after said person has had the surgery.
• "Aren't you scared you are going to die?" According to Surgery.com the mortality rate for a sleeve gastrectomy is 0.39%  Which means that for every 1000 people that have the surgery, about 4 die. I like those odds. I would much rather take a small risk now, than end up risking much more later on in terms of co-morbities. 
• "You are heavy enough to have that done?" I am on the lower end of the BMI required to have surgery. The BMI required for bariatric surgery if you don't have any obesity related diseased is 40, mine is 42. So yes, I do qualify for bariatric surgery. I think I get this comment a lot because people always tell me I carry my weight well. Which is good I guess. 
• "But you are so young! Are you sure you want to do this?" This comment always somehow ends up averting to bulletpoint #2. Yes I am young! All the more reason to start really living and being happy now that I can! That way I don't look back and think "Darn, I shouldn't have waied" 

On another note, yes I do tell people I am having the surgery. I don't go up to random strangers and inform them. However, if somebody asks, I tell them. Why? Because I think that there is a stigma in our society regarding bariatric surgery. If somebody asks me what I am having done, I tell them because most likely they have a misconception about it and maybe just maybe I can make them see surgery in a different light. If I can change one person's mind or at least get a person to see surgery in a more positive aspect, then that to me is worth all the negative comments and reactions.

Okay! Whew! That was laborious! Lastly I would like to give a shout out to the one person that has always been there for me and has shown never ending support and encouragement. My best friend! I love you Jazzy!

15 days before surgery!

Hi! I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving! I know I did! I pretty much gave myself permission to enjoy food since I will be on clear liquids during Christmas! No fun :( but hey, it's well worth it. Today I decided I wanted to have a "normal" picture of myself to use as my unofficial "before" picture. So today at work I took my friend into one of the private rooms and had her take a pic of me. So there you have it! That is me!! I want to talk about the reasons I chose to go forward with surgery. After the pic...

Growing up I was always what people would label as "big boned" I was always in between being overweight and obese. To this day I hate that word "obese" by the way. My weight wasn't such a big focus as a kid, I wouldn't even get made fun at school for it either. I was just a eccentric, outspoken, funny and friendly Melissa. When I started gaining weight was really when I started maturing. I would say end of middle school/beginning of high school. In high school I was more aware of my weight and really didn't like the way I was because of it. I couldn't fit into the normal clothes that all the size 2 girls would wear at school and at this point, family and doctors started to take notice that I was really heavy. My mom began encouraging me to lose weight and I would try to do things like weight watchers/not eating carbs or sugar/exercise. But I never really had the self control to stop myself and stick with something for good. And that was high school, feeling a little out of place and trying to find my identity and get along with friends all while working at Popeye's, my first job (that didn't exactly help my weight loss).

Fast forward a few years after graduating high school to 2011 and I have gained about 30 pounds and I am going to school to get my degree in accounting. I got really sick and I had to get my gallbladder removed and that is when I met none other than Dr. Woodbury. He performed surgery on me and after surgery I asked him jokingly what my insides looked like (gross I know) he said "not good." Ouch! We talked about bariatric surgery for a bit, but at the time the insurance I had didn't cover it. That was November of last year. By March of this year I had thought about it enough and done all the research necessary. I had also graduated school with my degree and gotten my first "real" job and decided that I couldn't live life always hating how I looked. I also couldn't live life with the constant paranoia that people would stare at me or say things about me behind my back. I just wanted to be a normal 22 year old that did what 22 year olds do. Go out, date, go on hikes, take spontaneous road trips, dance and just be satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. Others would say to me that I had such a "pretty" face and a great personality.. it was time for my body to match those things! By April my insurance kicked in at my brand new job and I called Dr. Woodbury's office and found out my insurance covered bariatric surgery. I started the long process and here I am today. Around 20 pounds lighter and ready for my surgery.

My journey hasn't been easy. I have had to change the way I looked at food for the better part of 22 years. That was the hardest part. Food was no longer a comforting thing. Food had to become simply nourishment and something that I need to survive. I realize I have a lot more self control than I thought I had. I also realized that everyday is such a struggle and I have had my bad days. Lately I have been sort of off the wagon and not as strict as I can be but I know that just because you decide you want to have that bagel or want to have that cookie doesn't mean you can just mess up the rest of your day! The most valuable lesson I have learned is that I can still treat myself but I need to make compromises. For example, every monthly meeting we have at work bagels are served. I have that bagel but I know dang well that I have to work out after work and eat clean and healthy the rest of the day. I know it seems silly if you haven't struggled with weight and can just eat whatever you want. But for those of you pre op, post op or even no op or normal weight that have ever had to deal with weight know... Losing weight sucks and is so emotional!

Thanks for reading! Soon I will post again when I am only a week away from my sleeve! Exciting stuff. I also want to thank all the coworkers, friends, family and anybody else that has supported me along this journey. It has meant so much to me!

First Post

 

I tried to think of a clever or witty sentence to start my blog but I couldn't think of one, so here you go!

I am Melissa and this blog is dedicated to my journey right before (so now) and beginning after I receive my sleeve gastrectomy surgery next month December 12th. I will be posting regular pictures with my progress/dramatic weight loss after surgery along with posts on my everyday struggles and successes. Things you should know about me if you don't already know me... I live in the suburbs of Santa Rosa, CA which is 45 minutes north of San Francisco in the northern California bay area. I love football, the 49ers, anything 49ers related, coffee, random factoids of knowledge, honeybees, scary movies, history and meeting new people. I work for a financial institution's corporate offices full time and enjoy going to work every single day!

 

I only have one recent full picture of just myself. And that is my Halloween picture at work! So meet me! Here I am...

 

Don't know what a sleeve gastrectomy is? No worries, I am practically a seasoned pro at explaining what it is. A sleeve gastrectomy is a type of bariatric surgery. The stomach is reduced to about 25% its original size by removing the portion of the stomach that stretches. You are then left with a long sleeve and a stomach that looks similar to a banana. After surgery, the patient's stomach can only fit 1/4 cup of food at a time. Thus, the patient loses weight at a similar speed as the more commonly known Gastric Bypass. Here is an image.

 

So there you have it! My very first post. In only a couple of days I will post again with the reasons I decided to go so public with my surgery posting on a blog online and why I decided to go forward with the surgery. Also, what I hope to gain with surgery and this blog. If you don't know me, don't be shy! Keep coming back and reading my blog. If you would like to email me with questions you can also do that. Melissa_gudino@yahoo.com If you know me, I look forward to hearing your feedback.