1 week out -15 lb from surgery -35 lb total

note: I did the math wrong and I realized that it was actually -35 pounds at the time of this post, not 45.

Today was my one week since surgery.

Weighed myself this morning and I have lost 15 pounds since surgery, 45 total since the beginning of my journey.

This first week has been rough. I think the first week out is always the most difficult. I cannot predict it getting harder than this. It feels so immensely surreal to be on this side of the sleeve and know that this is really me, really losing weight in a dramatic fashion. I have to admit, due to the speed of my weight loss I am weighing myself everyday. They say that it is bad to weigh yourself everyday but when you are practically eating less than 400 calories a day and losing 2 pounds a day it's so hard not to want to witness the daily change.

I look at myself in the mirror every morning and every morning I start to love what I see more and more. God granted me with a figure so even at my heaviest you could notice my curves. Losing weight I find myself noticing my curves become accentuated.  I also look at myself in the face and I see my bone structure slowly become more obvious. When I weighed myself this morning I realized I can't remember when was the last time I weighed what I weighed. High School? Most likely. 

Food: Being on clear liquids is so hard! Especially when my bro makes all this delicious food. I notice it has become easier now and it's more automatic. It helps to be on clear liquids because I am never hungry. It is an entirely new feeling to never feel full but never feel hungry. I stop myself during the day to really appreciate how that feels. Just because it has become easier not to eat food doesn't mean that I don't miss food but I find myself not thinking about it as often as I was.

Moving: I can't wait to be able to go to the gym again. It will be so neat to see what my body can do now that I am so much lighter. Since I can't go back to the gym until one more week I predict I will have lost at least 12 more pounds by then. Which will make me about 30 pounds lighter since the last time I went to the gym. 30 pounds! I look forward to knowing what 30 pounds lost feels like on the treadmill. I hope I am able to walk a little faster or even sustain a running pace. I know that once I start working out and doing weights I will look even better than solely losing weight!

I know I said I was going to post pictures but as I write this, there is nobody home to take a full body pic of me. But I promise promise promise that my next post will consist of lots of pictures. I can't wait to take a lot of them and post them up! 

Home from the hospital...

Home has never felt so good before!

Greetings from this side of the sleeve! I am so happy to be finally home and in my own bed in my own clothes, out of a very unflattering hospital gown! Today is Friday and my surgery was Wednesday morning.

First is first, my surgery went great! There were no problems with the anesthesia or recovering. I don't think I could have asked for a better surgeon or team of medical professionals to take care of me during my stay at Sutter.

When I was taken to anesthesia I was so surprised not to feel nervous or scared. I was so incredibly at peace and that really stood out to me. I couldn't believe how ready and receptive I was to this surgery. I was even calm enough to make a conversation with my anesthesiology about this article that I read that said that anesthesiologists are one of the highest paid medical professions. I told him he must be rolling in the dough! I remember feeling a dose of what must have been morphine in my IV that immediately relaxed me and the next thing I remember was waking up in recovery telling the nurse that I was really sleepy and asking her if I could go to sleep. I dozed off.

When I woke up I was being rolled out of the recovery room and I remember seeing my sister in law, best friend, mom and dad waiting for me to be rolled to my room.

By the time I got into my room it was about midday. I am very scatter minded and I don't have the ability to properly narrate my hospital experience in a way that will keep you engaged so I decided to do bullet points on my experiences instead:

• Pain: Even at my worst, my pain was only about a 5 or a 6. I was surprised I didn't have much Co2 pain but I guess some surgeries are different than others. Most of my pain would have to come from putting strain on my stomach since my stomach is trying to heal from the staples. I had a pain button that connected to Dilaudid, which is supposed to be stronger than morphine. Whatever it was, it was good and it made me real sleepy. Needless to say I slept most of the remaining day after surgery. Every time somebody showed up to my room I was always half asleep.

• Walking: The first day of surgery was really hard for me to get any walking in. Even though I was sleeping most of the day, I did go visit my cousin who had just delivered her baby upstairs in labor and delivery. The initial visit was really difficult and I had to come back to my room because I felt like I was going to throw up. Today was much easier for me to walk though and so was yesterday. 

• Food (or lack thereof) : I was on clear liquids for the entirety of the time I was at the hospital. It was hard, and will continue to be hard. The thought of hospital beef broth totally grosses me out and it's going to take some of my mom's mighty good "caldo the pollo" broth to make me change my mind. Drinking water was very unpleasant. I had to take really really small sips to avoid the cramping sensation I would get in my abdomen. I made it though, I drank enough water so I could avoid being dehydrated and could come home.

• Support: My support system was really amazing. I felt really loved and taken care of in the hospital. I have really pretty flowers to prove it! I also got a flower delivery delivered to me from a nurse. She said the delivery was from "somebody in my support group" I knew people in my support group but I couldn't pin point who exactly it was. Then as soon as I started reading the card I remembered this lovely lady that was set to have her surgery on Monday. She said "she wanted to wish me the very best with my new journey and that I always radiate such a beautiful glow" I was really touched by such a kind gesture! I look forward to seeing this lovely lady again in support group to thank her and give her a big hug!

I am upset that I haven't lost weight but according to my nurse this is normal since I am filled up on liquids and drugs. I hope to start losing weight once I have settled into being at home and comfortable on my liquid diet.

I also had my nurse add another "goal" to my dry erase board ;)

Until next time!

Melissa

Twas the Eve of the Sleeve...

Hi guys,

So here it is. It is the night before the sleeve. I am starting to feel all the nervousness and anxiety I am supposed to feel for surgery. I can't believe 6 months have flown by so quickly. I still remember leaving my surgeon's office after the first visit. I was crying because I was so emotional from finding out which surgery I would be having and this that I truly wanted was finally going to happen!

This journey has been so amazing and it is yet to be over! I am barely getting to the surgery part. After the surgery I will have a whole new set of challenges to address and overcome. I am getting a little emotional just typing this blog entry. These past 6 months I have learned so much about myself and about my body. I have learned what I am capable and I had to also change my relationship with food. That within itself is so much. 

This weekend I enjoyed my last weekend on this side of the sleeve. It was truly a weekend to remember. My best friend and I attended my work's Christmas party and we had such a blast! I danced and mingled with my coworkers. We even took some awesome photo booth pictures. 

Now to the surgery. I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM and my surgery will be at 7:30. I have prepared everything I needed to prepare for it! It's going to be so surreal to actually be there and know this is happening. AMAZING!

I will make sure to take lots of pics when I actually get to the hospital and right after surgery. I will be in the hospital until Friday if all goes well. 

See you with lots of pictures after the sleeve!!!

5 days before surgery

Hi all!

So tonite is Thursday night and my surgery is next Wednesday bright and early. This means that my surgery is only 5 days away!

Yesterday I went to see my surgeon for my pre-op appointment. My total weight loss when I weighed in at my surgeon's office was 21 lbs. Which takes me to the next comment. I know I should probably be doing the whole "starting weight", "current weight", and total weight loss tracker thing. However, I still don't feel comfortable posting my weight for everyone to see online. I will be posting my total weight loss week by week though! Back to my surgeon's appointment, I want to take a moment to really describe how amazing Dr. Woodbury is. When I saw him a year ago for my gallbladder I NEVER thought that he would also be performing the surgery that is going to positively impact my life in so many ways. His demeanor, compassion, and expertise are so very admirable!

Anyways, Dr. Woodbury and I talked about what's going to happen the day of surgery and how long the surgery will take. That appointment didn't take long and I was back on my merry way to work. 

Now that was yesterday, today I saw Nurse Kate for my final appointment. She and I talked about all the things that are going to happen before surgery and after surgery. It was an appointment jam packed with useful information. I signed my consent forms and Nurse Kate described my surgery date. The day before I have to be on clear liquids and then I will show up at Sutter at 5:30 AM and I will prepped for the surgery that will happen at 7:30. I will be put on blood thinners and rolled into surgery at 7:30 AM. I will be in my recovery room by 10:30 appprox. I was also informed I will be using a catheter which effectively scared the crap out of me. After surgery the main concern is blood clots, this is why there is so much emphasis on getting up and moving after surgery. I will also have a pain button that I can press when I need morphine. (self medicating morphine = wooo hooo!) In all seriousness though, what I am most worried about is the Co2 pains. Those really suck, I know this because after I had my gallbladder removed I had to deal with the Co2 pains. Anyways, I will be in the hospital until Friday. 

The only thing that really concerns me at this point is that there was a misunderstanding on my part and really I should have been on 1000 calories a day beginning a week ago! Oy vey! Nurse Kate assured me that if I am really strict and exercise my little heart out for this very last home stretch I will be okay! So I went to Trader Joe's today and got me some greek yogurts and a nice TJ's salad for tomorrow. I need to really really stick to this 1000 calories a day. This means no sugar, carbs or added fat!

 My lovely coworker who had the Gastric Bypass keeps telling me "pictures, pictures, pictures! So I will take a picture the day of the surgery holding up my lovely little "day of surgery" sign. 

Okay! For now, I have this pic that I took at my surgeon's office yesterday. I want to make sure I journalize what I look like as much as I can because this blog is really ultimately for me. I want to go back a year from now and see the pics post by post and see how much I've changed! I will be posting the night before surgery! 

12 days before surgery!

Hello all! 

So one week from Wednesday I will be at Sutter getting my surgery done! I am trying to remind myself to be aware of everything right now. So much will change and I want to vividly remember all the feelings and the outlook that I had as a big girl once I am on the other side of the sleeve. I remind myself everyday that really this is it, these are my last days as a big girl!

I also find myself wanting to take lots of pictures of myself. Not for vanity purposes but because I want to see them once I have had the surgery and know that that was me right before. I don't want to forget who I was before and that's why I take pictures so I can look at myself later on and know how far I've come.

Today I felt inspired to write a new blog entry. I want to talk about the frequent questions and comments I receive regarding my surgery. If you are reading this blog and you have had or are going to have bariatric surgery, I really hope you can relate! Here goes nothing...

• "My Uncle's girlfriend's brother's wife's niece has had the surgery and it didn't work..." EVERYBODY seems to have an obscure relative's relative's relative's that has had bariatric surgery and gained the weight back. The surgery is a tool and if you use that tool and put in the hard work, it will pay off and there is no reason why you should not lose weight! If you want to say negative things about the surgery because you think I will change my mind or think I will fail, maybe you aren't a person I need to be talking to.
• "Surgery is the easy way out, why don't you just exercise and eat right. I mean look at me, I have lost 25 pounds" This one is also an aggravating one. Anybody that has had surgery will tell you that surgery is the hardest thing they have had to do. Do you think going through a painful surgery where your insides are cut open and stapled back together is easy? Surgery is not the easy way out. It is the realistic way out. When a person becomes so "obese" their stomach stretches out so much that it is impossible to shrink your stomach back to a normal size. Also, many large people are able to lose weight but end up gaining it back because there is always that possibility you will gain weight back because you are so easily prone to being heavy. To compare somebody that is losing just a few love pounds/pregnancy weight with somebody that has struggled with weight all their life and most often needs to lose 100 plus pounds is ridiculous. I have a coworker that lost some weight on her own and is so negative about the surgery. I don't become angered with her negative comments, I just feel sorry for her because as smart as she is she can't realize the pros of surgery and the positive outcome it can create in a person's life after said person has had the surgery.
• "Aren't you scared you are going to die?" According to Surgery.com the mortality rate for a sleeve gastrectomy is 0.39%  Which means that for every 1000 people that have the surgery, about 4 die. I like those odds. I would much rather take a small risk now, than end up risking much more later on in terms of co-morbities. 
• "You are heavy enough to have that done?" I am on the lower end of the BMI required to have surgery. The BMI required for bariatric surgery if you don't have any obesity related diseased is 40, mine is 42. So yes, I do qualify for bariatric surgery. I think I get this comment a lot because people always tell me I carry my weight well. Which is good I guess. 
• "But you are so young! Are you sure you want to do this?" This comment always somehow ends up averting to bulletpoint #2. Yes I am young! All the more reason to start really living and being happy now that I can! That way I don't look back and think "Darn, I shouldn't have waied" 

On another note, yes I do tell people I am having the surgery. I don't go up to random strangers and inform them. However, if somebody asks, I tell them. Why? Because I think that there is a stigma in our society regarding bariatric surgery. If somebody asks me what I am having done, I tell them because most likely they have a misconception about it and maybe just maybe I can make them see surgery in a different light. If I can change one person's mind or at least get a person to see surgery in a more positive aspect, then that to me is worth all the negative comments and reactions.

Okay! Whew! That was laborious! Lastly I would like to give a shout out to the one person that has always been there for me and has shown never ending support and encouragement. My best friend! I love you Jazzy!

15 days before surgery!

Hi! I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving! I know I did! I pretty much gave myself permission to enjoy food since I will be on clear liquids during Christmas! No fun :( but hey, it's well worth it. Today I decided I wanted to have a "normal" picture of myself to use as my unofficial "before" picture. So today at work I took my friend into one of the private rooms and had her take a pic of me. So there you have it! That is me!! I want to talk about the reasons I chose to go forward with surgery. After the pic...

Growing up I was always what people would label as "big boned" I was always in between being overweight and obese. To this day I hate that word "obese" by the way. My weight wasn't such a big focus as a kid, I wouldn't even get made fun at school for it either. I was just a eccentric, outspoken, funny and friendly Melissa. When I started gaining weight was really when I started maturing. I would say end of middle school/beginning of high school. In high school I was more aware of my weight and really didn't like the way I was because of it. I couldn't fit into the normal clothes that all the size 2 girls would wear at school and at this point, family and doctors started to take notice that I was really heavy. My mom began encouraging me to lose weight and I would try to do things like weight watchers/not eating carbs or sugar/exercise. But I never really had the self control to stop myself and stick with something for good. And that was high school, feeling a little out of place and trying to find my identity and get along with friends all while working at Popeye's, my first job (that didn't exactly help my weight loss).

Fast forward a few years after graduating high school to 2011 and I have gained about 30 pounds and I am going to school to get my degree in accounting. I got really sick and I had to get my gallbladder removed and that is when I met none other than Dr. Woodbury. He performed surgery on me and after surgery I asked him jokingly what my insides looked like (gross I know) he said "not good." Ouch! We talked about bariatric surgery for a bit, but at the time the insurance I had didn't cover it. That was November of last year. By March of this year I had thought about it enough and done all the research necessary. I had also graduated school with my degree and gotten my first "real" job and decided that I couldn't live life always hating how I looked. I also couldn't live life with the constant paranoia that people would stare at me or say things about me behind my back. I just wanted to be a normal 22 year old that did what 22 year olds do. Go out, date, go on hikes, take spontaneous road trips, dance and just be satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. Others would say to me that I had such a "pretty" face and a great personality.. it was time for my body to match those things! By April my insurance kicked in at my brand new job and I called Dr. Woodbury's office and found out my insurance covered bariatric surgery. I started the long process and here I am today. Around 20 pounds lighter and ready for my surgery.

My journey hasn't been easy. I have had to change the way I looked at food for the better part of 22 years. That was the hardest part. Food was no longer a comforting thing. Food had to become simply nourishment and something that I need to survive. I realize I have a lot more self control than I thought I had. I also realized that everyday is such a struggle and I have had my bad days. Lately I have been sort of off the wagon and not as strict as I can be but I know that just because you decide you want to have that bagel or want to have that cookie doesn't mean you can just mess up the rest of your day! The most valuable lesson I have learned is that I can still treat myself but I need to make compromises. For example, every monthly meeting we have at work bagels are served. I have that bagel but I know dang well that I have to work out after work and eat clean and healthy the rest of the day. I know it seems silly if you haven't struggled with weight and can just eat whatever you want. But for those of you pre op, post op or even no op or normal weight that have ever had to deal with weight know... Losing weight sucks and is so emotional!

Thanks for reading! Soon I will post again when I am only a week away from my sleeve! Exciting stuff. I also want to thank all the coworkers, friends, family and anybody else that has supported me along this journey. It has meant so much to me!

First Post

 

I tried to think of a clever or witty sentence to start my blog but I couldn't think of one, so here you go!

I am Melissa and this blog is dedicated to my journey right before (so now) and beginning after I receive my sleeve gastrectomy surgery next month December 12th. I will be posting regular pictures with my progress/dramatic weight loss after surgery along with posts on my everyday struggles and successes. Things you should know about me if you don't already know me... I live in the suburbs of Santa Rosa, CA which is 45 minutes north of San Francisco in the northern California bay area. I love football, the 49ers, anything 49ers related, coffee, random factoids of knowledge, honeybees, scary movies, history and meeting new people. I work for a financial institution's corporate offices full time and enjoy going to work every single day!

 

I only have one recent full picture of just myself. And that is my Halloween picture at work! So meet me! Here I am...

 

Don't know what a sleeve gastrectomy is? No worries, I am practically a seasoned pro at explaining what it is. A sleeve gastrectomy is a type of bariatric surgery. The stomach is reduced to about 25% its original size by removing the portion of the stomach that stretches. You are then left with a long sleeve and a stomach that looks similar to a banana. After surgery, the patient's stomach can only fit 1/4 cup of food at a time. Thus, the patient loses weight at a similar speed as the more commonly known Gastric Bypass. Here is an image.

 

So there you have it! My very first post. In only a couple of days I will post again with the reasons I decided to go so public with my surgery posting on a blog online and why I decided to go forward with the surgery. Also, what I hope to gain with surgery and this blog. If you don't know me, don't be shy! Keep coming back and reading my blog. If you would like to email me with questions you can also do that. Melissa_gudino@yahoo.com If you know me, I look forward to hearing your feedback.