15 days before surgery!

Hi! I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving! I know I did! I pretty much gave myself permission to enjoy food since I will be on clear liquids during Christmas! No fun :( but hey, it's well worth it. Today I decided I wanted to have a "normal" picture of myself to use as my unofficial "before" picture. So today at work I took my friend into one of the private rooms and had her take a pic of me. So there you have it! That is me!! I want to talk about the reasons I chose to go forward with surgery. After the pic...

Growing up I was always what people would label as "big boned" I was always in between being overweight and obese. To this day I hate that word "obese" by the way. My weight wasn't such a big focus as a kid, I wouldn't even get made fun at school for it either. I was just a eccentric, outspoken, funny and friendly Melissa. When I started gaining weight was really when I started maturing. I would say end of middle school/beginning of high school. In high school I was more aware of my weight and really didn't like the way I was because of it. I couldn't fit into the normal clothes that all the size 2 girls would wear at school and at this point, family and doctors started to take notice that I was really heavy. My mom began encouraging me to lose weight and I would try to do things like weight watchers/not eating carbs or sugar/exercise. But I never really had the self control to stop myself and stick with something for good. And that was high school, feeling a little out of place and trying to find my identity and get along with friends all while working at Popeye's, my first job (that didn't exactly help my weight loss).

Fast forward a few years after graduating high school to 2011 and I have gained about 30 pounds and I am going to school to get my degree in accounting. I got really sick and I had to get my gallbladder removed and that is when I met none other than Dr. Woodbury. He performed surgery on me and after surgery I asked him jokingly what my insides looked like (gross I know) he said "not good." Ouch! We talked about bariatric surgery for a bit, but at the time the insurance I had didn't cover it. That was November of last year. By March of this year I had thought about it enough and done all the research necessary. I had also graduated school with my degree and gotten my first "real" job and decided that I couldn't live life always hating how I looked. I also couldn't live life with the constant paranoia that people would stare at me or say things about me behind my back. I just wanted to be a normal 22 year old that did what 22 year olds do. Go out, date, go on hikes, take spontaneous road trips, dance and just be satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. Others would say to me that I had such a "pretty" face and a great personality.. it was time for my body to match those things! By April my insurance kicked in at my brand new job and I called Dr. Woodbury's office and found out my insurance covered bariatric surgery. I started the long process and here I am today. Around 20 pounds lighter and ready for my surgery.

My journey hasn't been easy. I have had to change the way I looked at food for the better part of 22 years. That was the hardest part. Food was no longer a comforting thing. Food had to become simply nourishment and something that I need to survive. I realize I have a lot more self control than I thought I had. I also realized that everyday is such a struggle and I have had my bad days. Lately I have been sort of off the wagon and not as strict as I can be but I know that just because you decide you want to have that bagel or want to have that cookie doesn't mean you can just mess up the rest of your day! The most valuable lesson I have learned is that I can still treat myself but I need to make compromises. For example, every monthly meeting we have at work bagels are served. I have that bagel but I know dang well that I have to work out after work and eat clean and healthy the rest of the day. I know it seems silly if you haven't struggled with weight and can just eat whatever you want. But for those of you pre op, post op or even no op or normal weight that have ever had to deal with weight know... Losing weight sucks and is so emotional!

Thanks for reading! Soon I will post again when I am only a week away from my sleeve! Exciting stuff. I also want to thank all the coworkers, friends, family and anybody else that has supported me along this journey. It has meant so much to me!